Woman Slammed for Expecting Roommates to Follow Strict Religious Rules - Newsweek

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A woman was slammed online after her future roommate revealed her "strict" religious-based rules for everyone in the apartment to abide by.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Traditional-Bed-9731, published the now-deleted post in Reddit's "Am I The A******" forum where it received more than 5,400 upvotes and 1,400 comments. The original post can be found here.

Roommate Conflict

As Harlan Cohen, author of New York Times bestseller The Naked Roommate, told Newsweek that living with others often requires clear communication and compromise.

"If roommates can't meet each other's expectations there needs to be a compromise or they shouldn't live together," Cohen said. "Ideally, this is something you should discuss before you move in together so you have a baseline understanding of expectations before you move in. Then you can decide if it will work or not work."

Roommates disagree on house rules — Here, a stock image of a group of roommates arguing. Commenters advised a Redditor to not to live with her friend because of her religious rules. AntonioGuillem/iStock

Cohen added that oftentimes, friends do not make great roommates if expectations are not set beforehand.

"Too many times, friends are so comfortable with each other they will push boundaries until they break," Cohen said. "Make sure you can communicate, listen, and respectfully work through disagreements before you live together."

When living with a close friend, Cohen said it is important to know that there is always a risk that the friendship will suffer from sharing a living space.

"The more you can be aware of the risks, the easier it will be to manage uncomfortable situations and keep the friendship intact," Cohen said. "And [if] you're living with a friend who has a track record of leaving roommate wreckage in their wake, that's a red flag."

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for not wanting to change for my religious roommate?" the 23-year-old OP said she is moving into an apartment next year with her friends Harriet, 22, and Tommy, 23.

The OP said that although Harriet is Muslim, she and Tommy are not religious and eat and drink what they want.

"Harriet said when we move in she only wants halal food in the house and I guess I can live with that," the post read. "However, I can only eat certain textures and eat specific food from certain places if it changes I freak out. The same goes for Tommy but he said he will be fine."

Harriet also asked the OP and Tommy not to keep or drink alcohol in the apartment–even though the OP is a passionate mixologist.

"I work in a cocktail bar so I like learning new drinks for my customers to try I really enjoy it," the post read. "They want me to quit smoking, which I get I also want to quit but I do like smoking other things occasionally and I don't want to stop that."

Additionally, Harriet told the OP and Tommy that when her parents come over they have to pretend they are married. She also said that Harriet has not come out to her parents.

"I brought up how all this change we're doing to make her comfortable is making me uncomfortable," the post read. "I said I feel like I'm not living the life I want and I want to be able to do the things I want to do. I didn't choose this religion why should I follow the rules?"

But the OP said both her roommates were upset with the comment.

"Tommy was a bit more understanding because he had to change [too] but he said I shouldn't have said that," the post read. "Harriet just got upset and started to cry, now it's quite tense in the house. AITA?"

Redditor Reactions

More than 1,400 users commented on the post, many criticizing Harriet for expecting her friends to adhere to her religious rules.

"NTA she can not dictate how you live because of her religion," one user commented receiving over 13,300 upvotes. "If she can only live with people who follow strict Muslim laws then maybe she shouldn't be living with you."

"Why are you even entertaining the possibility of this? Do you really want to live with Harriet being the Queen of your house?" another commented. "If she wants to be in charge of everyone's behavior in her home, she needs to live alone."

"Harriet will not work as a roommate with anyone who is not Muslim," another commented. "You and Tommy should find a place. Harriet needs to find other roommates or live alone. NTA"

"She won't work with a devoutly Muslim roommate either," another commented. "She's in the queer community and willing to live with an unrelated male but can't have alcohol in the house?"

"Do not move in with Harriet. She is taking these demands to the extreme. Muslims aren't allowed to consume, transport, or sell alcohol. The Quran says nothing about roommates having alcohol," another user commented. "Same goes for all of her demands. She is forcing her religious convictions on you, when she has no right to. Tell her to suck it up or find a different roommate."

Newsweek reached out to u/Traditional-Bed-9731 for comment.